Eridan slumped onto the seat in the bar tottering dangerously but righting himself.
“Barkeep!” He shouted loudly voice harsher than normal under the effect of a few too many shots. “I demand your best booze you lowwblooded scummer!”
The bartender was not tempted to come over and Eridan had resigned himself to sobriety when the troll on the seat next to him spoke.
“Brother it would be a motherfucking miracle if you could get me a Faygo and a beer.” Gamzee was sitting next to him and Eridan had no clue when he had arrived but he was very thankful because he knew that while Gamzee acted drunk a lot the only beverage he partook in was Faygo never beer. When the bartender came over with the drinks Gamzee slid it down the bar into his hand.
“There bro have some motherfucking miracle juice. Get you all cheered up.”
Eridan took a swig and nearly puked slamming his hand down on the bar and bending to stop from vomiting. “This is so disgusting. I hate it.” He looked angrily down into his mug. “You hear that beer?! I hate you so much. Wwant to be my kismesis beer?” The beer didn’t reply and in a drunken rage Eridan smashed it off the bar. It spilt over the floor with a crash and Eridan was aghast. “No beer! You can’t leawe me too! You were supposed to be my kismesis!”
“It OK brother. This Faygo is my moraill ain’t nothing wrong with a motherfucker being in a quadrant with a drink. Faygo is the best motherfucking moraill ever just listen to that shoosh.” Eridan leaned over and listened hearing the fizz of the bubbles. When he pulled his head back however the Faygo tipped and spilt spreading a bright puddle over the bar.
“Man I am so sorry about your moraill I didn’t mean to murder him!” Eridan shouted terribly upset. Gamzee however seemed mesmerized by the sight.
“Look at this motherfucking miracle man the bar is all up and soakin up the Faygo like it’s some kind of love. Wait bro that’s it. Faygo is all up and in pity for the bar. No wonder this sneaky motherfucker spilt. He was just wantin to get all close to his matesprit.”
“Wwhoa.” Eridan said shocked. “But then wwho else is in the bar’s quadrants?” He looked up at Gamzee from his perch on the stool.
“Well look right over there at that miracle. The wall and the desk all up and supporting each other like that. That’s a real moraillegance if I ever motherfucking saw one.” Gamzee nodded to himself confident in his assessment.
“Wwhy does ewerybody hawe a quadrant but me?” Eridan wailed prompting Gamzee to pat him soothingly on his head.
“Well motherfuck bro I feel all up and bad for you now. Why don’t we try out a fucking redrom then if you really want somebody all up in those quadrants of yours?” Eridan looked up shocked but then pressed a sloppy drunken kiss to his hand.
“I wwill be your prince. We should just like be in lowe. Good plan.” Eridan stood shakily almost falling over then sagging against the wall. Gamzee snarled at that.
“Hey wall that’s my matesprit your touchin there!” And he went to attack the wall with all of his ferocity. However his reflection in the window distracted him. “Whoa there man OK. I won’t all up and attack your wall friend. No reason to be getting all ashen for us.” Gamzee grabbed Eridan’s arm and slung him over his back. “Let’s all up and blow this joint.” And he carried Eridan off into the distant darkness.